Over the last year, I've tried to force myself to find people with whom I can ask questions about career growth. It's been a common pattern of mine since my college days not to ask questions but try to figure out the answer on my own: a noble thing to do and a nice learning journey, but time consuming and narrow-sighted, not to mention ego-driven. I would chalk it up to being shy, but in reality, I was too arrogant to ask for help because I thought it gave me extra bragging points if I could figure it out myself. Needless to say, this led to increasing frustration as I began to take on more difficult concepts. I try not to live with regrets, but if there's one thing I could redo, it would be my whole approach to college.
Of course, after failing to find the answers I needed in my coursework and job functions, I had no choice but to find people and ask questions. But one of my main blockers to asking more questions was not knowing how to ask questions. "I don't get this at all; how can I even begin to explain what I need help with?" This became a repeated excuse that I hid behind.
A breakthrough moment finally arrived when my manager left for vacation with no way for me to contact him. He had entrusted me with some really hairy SQL queries that were way beyond my understanding. I couldn't figure out how to modify it or even verify that the numbers were correct. After several days of coming in to work and sitting there for hours without getting anywhere, I walked to the cubicle of another senior engineer. "Could you help me understand this SQL query? I don't get it at all."
That was a huge turning point in my career. She sat with me and we took apart the query one piece at a time. After about an hour, I returned to my desk and played with it some more. Then it occurred to me: how do I make sure it's correct? I went back to my coworker and she pointed me to some other colleagues who worked with similar data. I reached out to them: "Could you look at these numbers and see whether they're correct?" They quickly got back to me and pointed out areas of inconsistencies.
Now I had to modify the query. With the help of my coworker, we dug deeper into the query and figured out where numbers were coming from. We then tried to figure out if the relational data made sense and if we were omitting details from it.
Why was this such a pivotal time in my career? For the first few years of my career, I rarely asked people for feedback or help. Consequently, I was really unproductive.
So what happened after that? I had already seen how useless it was to be afraid to ask questions, even if they were not specific. What if I asked the wrong question? What if I can't find my answer because I don't even know how to ask?
Just ask. Start somewhere and try to make the question as related to the problem as possible. The next few years after that, I began asking questions about my career. I didn't know what to expect or look for in my career; I just knew I wanted to have an "upwards trajectory". My questions started off as, "What should I aim for in my career growth?" or "What should I do to grow in my career?" I would receive answers like, "Take more ownership" and "Keep doing what you're doing".
The last few years, I've been thinking even more about my career growth. What am I aiming for? Where do I want to be? I don't know. But the better questions seemed to be, "What can I do to improve what I am doing now?" After receiving answers to that question and taking time to reflect, I found myself asking more questions. Specific questions. I think I might finally be getting somewhere.
Today, I asked my manager, "How do you deal with imposter syndrome and analysis paralysis that comes along with it?" His reply: "Remember that you were hired not for the knowledge you had, but for the ability to find answers and solutions."
I had never found that answer in all my googling; I figured it was something that just comes with the territory. Or, I was expecting to hear something like, "Just keep working at what you're doing, and you'll succeed. Keep learning." It seems like these two answers are pretty similar; I've been applying the latter, trying to brute force my way to overcoming the problem. But what I really should be doing is applying that same effort, but spreading it in different ways. Instead, I should be thinking, "Where would I start to find answers to this issue?" and try to do what I can. At the same time, I should enlist the help and expertise of others. "Who knows about this more than I do?" And just like when I asked my coworker for help on the SQL query, the solution will become more apparent as we all work as a team.
It's not that I felt comfortable asking such a question. But, now that I am older and realize that time is more precious, I am willing to put myself out there because getting real results is more appealing than just doing it on my own. Sure, I could probably figure it out, but a mentor will provide insight that I would not be able to come up with unless I go down the same path and mull on it for some time.
It's normal and fine to struggle. But it's not good to struggle alone if you can learn from others' wisdom and experience. Now I am starting to understand that even top performers deal with uncertainty that accompanies one's growth. The difference between them and someone who doesn't grow is that the top performers put themselves out there and keep asking questions. They are open minded and receptive to criticism. As they ask questions, they continually refine themselves as well as their questions, opening the way for better questions. So ask away. Your questions might not be great at first, but just keep asking "how should I...", "what can I do...", "why is it..."
Of course, after failing to find the answers I needed in my coursework and job functions, I had no choice but to find people and ask questions. But one of my main blockers to asking more questions was not knowing how to ask questions. "I don't get this at all; how can I even begin to explain what I need help with?" This became a repeated excuse that I hid behind.
A breakthrough moment finally arrived when my manager left for vacation with no way for me to contact him. He had entrusted me with some really hairy SQL queries that were way beyond my understanding. I couldn't figure out how to modify it or even verify that the numbers were correct. After several days of coming in to work and sitting there for hours without getting anywhere, I walked to the cubicle of another senior engineer. "Could you help me understand this SQL query? I don't get it at all."
That was a huge turning point in my career. She sat with me and we took apart the query one piece at a time. After about an hour, I returned to my desk and played with it some more. Then it occurred to me: how do I make sure it's correct? I went back to my coworker and she pointed me to some other colleagues who worked with similar data. I reached out to them: "Could you look at these numbers and see whether they're correct?" They quickly got back to me and pointed out areas of inconsistencies.
Now I had to modify the query. With the help of my coworker, we dug deeper into the query and figured out where numbers were coming from. We then tried to figure out if the relational data made sense and if we were omitting details from it.
Why was this such a pivotal time in my career? For the first few years of my career, I rarely asked people for feedback or help. Consequently, I was really unproductive.
So what happened after that? I had already seen how useless it was to be afraid to ask questions, even if they were not specific. What if I asked the wrong question? What if I can't find my answer because I don't even know how to ask?
Just ask. Start somewhere and try to make the question as related to the problem as possible. The next few years after that, I began asking questions about my career. I didn't know what to expect or look for in my career; I just knew I wanted to have an "upwards trajectory". My questions started off as, "What should I aim for in my career growth?" or "What should I do to grow in my career?" I would receive answers like, "Take more ownership" and "Keep doing what you're doing".
The last few years, I've been thinking even more about my career growth. What am I aiming for? Where do I want to be? I don't know. But the better questions seemed to be, "What can I do to improve what I am doing now?" After receiving answers to that question and taking time to reflect, I found myself asking more questions. Specific questions. I think I might finally be getting somewhere.
Today, I asked my manager, "How do you deal with imposter syndrome and analysis paralysis that comes along with it?" His reply: "Remember that you were hired not for the knowledge you had, but for the ability to find answers and solutions."
I had never found that answer in all my googling; I figured it was something that just comes with the territory. Or, I was expecting to hear something like, "Just keep working at what you're doing, and you'll succeed. Keep learning." It seems like these two answers are pretty similar; I've been applying the latter, trying to brute force my way to overcoming the problem. But what I really should be doing is applying that same effort, but spreading it in different ways. Instead, I should be thinking, "Where would I start to find answers to this issue?" and try to do what I can. At the same time, I should enlist the help and expertise of others. "Who knows about this more than I do?" And just like when I asked my coworker for help on the SQL query, the solution will become more apparent as we all work as a team.
It's not that I felt comfortable asking such a question. But, now that I am older and realize that time is more precious, I am willing to put myself out there because getting real results is more appealing than just doing it on my own. Sure, I could probably figure it out, but a mentor will provide insight that I would not be able to come up with unless I go down the same path and mull on it for some time.
It's normal and fine to struggle. But it's not good to struggle alone if you can learn from others' wisdom and experience. Now I am starting to understand that even top performers deal with uncertainty that accompanies one's growth. The difference between them and someone who doesn't grow is that the top performers put themselves out there and keep asking questions. They are open minded and receptive to criticism. As they ask questions, they continually refine themselves as well as their questions, opening the way for better questions. So ask away. Your questions might not be great at first, but just keep asking "how should I...", "what can I do...", "why is it..."
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